(via toodopetoexist)
(via toodopetoexist)
(via tightvaginas)
floccinaucinihilipilificationa:
This is my fucking life in a nutshell
Once at a 9 hour flight from Paris to Tokyo I had offered the guy sitting next to me a Finnish candy, Sisu (kinda like salty liquorice but not, but also not liquorice with menthol but kinda like?) He then showed me something, roughly the size of a breath mint. So I took it and put it in my mouth, because hey, they ate my Finnish Black Bomb so I’m going to taste their French Thingy.
Except it wasn’t a candy. In fact it was nothing edible. It was a fossil they wanted to show me. I just put a fossil in my mouth. Somebody else’s fossil.
It’s been 12 years and I’m still mortified.
(via ecooli)
mom (raising her voice slightly so she can speak to my dad down at the other end of the grocery store aisle): do you guys want any chips?
dad (at full volume): I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR DORITOS
(Source: queenrafferty, via spongebobssquarepants)